Tuesday, May. 12, 2009 - 10:28 p.m.

i think im a worry freak or maybe also an anxious freak.

embarking on this dissertation (sounds like im going on a long life journey) is like a wonderful experience, a totally fresh new idea.

however i have so many concerns.
Am i able to handle all these?
am i able to do these all by myself?
do i sound stupid asking my prof so many questions?
does he think im too reliant on him?
will he think i didnt use my brain to think?
will the measurement results come out fine?
will i meet his expectations?
am i doing enough for this?
am i able to actually type a report like what others did?
where do i start?

i mean, i love to read what others have found and discovere. its a totally wonderful matter. its so amazing when they present their findings to you using wadever models present. wow. amazing.

but am i able to do all these?
it seems so scary.

deciding on sites is bad enough. i cant make up my mind. coz i have many 'what ifs' in my mind. wad if the results turn out the same? what if there is nothing for me to compare? do i know how to compare? are there too many factors that i have to take into consideration? etc.

roars. my prof aka best-fren-to-be (BFTB) seemed so relaxed over the email. i am to read up more since im doing intern. sigh. seems like i can only do the crucial part after intern,which is in july.

i wonder i will have enough time.
do u actually call this, perfectionist or anxious freak or ms ignorance?

i want everything to go right the first time with no errors. coz im afraid that it will be too late to change by then. so im asking and confirming alot of tiny details in my head.

sigh. im like dying earlier with my panic attacks.

yes, im checking my emails even though its after office hours. oh boy.

conclusion, i figured tt out while i was in a shower. i am not too sure if my answer stands though. i wish my prof knew.

i think i sound stupid/anxious/you name it.

xqian is right. dissertation leh,of coz it will be more difficult. do it with an open heart. and he said tt i will have his support, quek's support, my friends and family.
these touching words, must be wad he used to trick Ypei. heex.

yes,no rain where got rainbow.

*breathes in, breathes out*
wenJ said that im comparatively sweeter than *****. or maybe salty. or even sour and bitter.
i have such a NICE friend who makes me laugh out loud.

i still hope BFTB wont think im an idiot who doesnt think. i merely need a confirmation, to be sure im on the right track.

this is eventually the crucial point of the whole project.

):

^s0rr|

sunset - sunrise