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Glittra Fleur
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Monday, Jun. 15, 2009 - 10:05 p.m.


i think what we lack is a camera crew for us to produce the exact replica of the show life transformers.

painting residential homes is going to be easier than painting a huge home. oh boy, i was wrong,quite wrong. and i learnt quite a fair bit about life.

people grow old,dont they? i mean EVERYONE grows old. and its only a matter of how old you can live to. we painted a two room flat (i dont really know how to classify flat with a living room, kitchen and one bedroom) which a lady in her 70s (i suppose) and a 98 yr old lady who so called rented some space in the flat. their relationship is one of landlord and tenant. the heartwrenching thing is being 98 doesnt mean that you shouldnt be treated like a human. the landlord used quite harsh language on the old lady for throwing eggshells in the toilet sink,stating that she'll need to spend quite an amount should it choke. perhaps this happened quite a few times already. yet i think such harsh language shouldnt be used on a lady whom i think was fine to me. *sigh* one thing i dont ustd is i think the old lady has a daughter,so why let her live on her own and has to put up with nonsense?

i wish i knew abit more dialect. sad to say, she put my dialect to the test yest. i couldnt even produce a string of decent sounding dialect. if i could, i probably could have chatted abit with her. and i felt bad to let her sit outside the house on a wheelchair while we painted the living room. i wouldnt want her to choke on the fumes yet the idea of letting her sit in the kitchen dint dawn on me. damn, what the hell was i thinking?

self reminder: to treat everyone like equals. and most imptly, my parents and relatives like first class humans no matter how old.

went over to another home to render some help as instructed. painting the tiny toilet was a challenge with dirty walls and with worries that the new coat of paint will peel off once its dry. that had me, quek and hmei struggling for sometime. working within space constraints wasnt exactly a good start but somehow im glad that things work out fine. at one point of time, i felt upset or maybe emotional. i wish i could do sth about the situation. i wish humans could just grow taller when they wish,in situations like that. for quite some time, all i could do was to stand outside the toilet to render help to both of them inside. i suppose that demoralised me somehow, knowing that im helpless as much as i wish i could help. its not to say that i wasnt doing anything at all, but i suppose i wish i could do more. but well, time passed and work done fast when we cracked jokes.

the old lady was grateful and gave us stamps as token of appreciation. to me, i think the stamps are precious and i thought they could fetch high prices when they are first day cover stamps in singapore yr 1984. sometimes, i cant help but think that sometimes we are actually quite vulnerable when we age. i dont know exactly how long the lights in her room were spoilt but they were only changed with our help yesterday. simple things like changing lamps seemed to be a challenge for them. and i hate it when the light in her room cant be fixed and we cant figure out the reason. *sigh* do they have helpline to call when they need to get things like tt changed and done?

the tap in her house is slow running. and i started to think that i ought to appreciate the water in my house. the little things that we have, in comparison to what they have. the things we can do as what we are, compared to them. nope, they are not that pitiful as what i make them to sound like. they represent what i called, part and parcel of life. one day i will also become like them (if i live long enough) and this is how people will look at me. furthermore, she is a kind old lady who was grateful. what more can u ask for when she walks out of her house barefooted to say bye to us and also left her number with quek? tell me what more should i ask her other than just a simple thank you and knowing that she, like us, hadnt had her dinner at 930pm because we were painting her house?

imagine how many more people like them are around in singapore, and we are oblivious to them. we ought to be appreciative. and i will be appreciative.

i think painting beneficiary homes came satisfying the past two yrs in the OC. painting homes for people where i can see direct impact on, as a volunteer satisfies me even more. and despite the sweat and aching muscles, im glad to be of some help. (:

and of coz, yes, this made me realise how much i miss doing all these with a bunch of like-minded people who accompanied me through 3 yrs of my uni life of volunteering. i miss being myself, so nonsensical sometimes but yet i know they accept me for who im, (or so i hope they do). (: (: yes i miss the oc.

when i look back, i also realise how cruel time is. when time went by, it also sometimes brought with it some feelings, some familiarity that couldnt be found anymore. i can be looking at the same faces, yet i see that some part of their life havent got me inside and the familiarity is long gone. i know they are hard to search for again, but yet im missing it. and missing the people who were once so familiar.

yes, thank you. and yes, i am missing the people who are once so familiar.

thank you for letting me be who i am.

^s0rr|

sunset - sunrise

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