Tuesday, Nov. 24, 2009 - 9:45 p.m.

i wonder if i wasnt hardworking enough, knowing that im not smart.

it sux, knowing that i get silence when i whine.

nth beats going for a jog after a disastrous paper. feel the cool wind against the skin, hear the sound of crushed stones underneath the feet, breathe in the fresh air when only a few souls were around. watch the sunset alone and empty those stupid thoughts.

i like the orange fluffy clouds but the sun sure set quite fast.

i thought to myself today. i wonder if i was greedy.

define unconditional.

the love from parents to their children is unconditional, i would say. no matter what happen to their children, sick or well, the love is unconditional. the only expectation they have is probably to be well taken care of when they are old. do you label that as expectation for sth in return? nah, i would say its a duty of the children. simply put, the love is unconditional, linked by blood.

what about unconditional love for your other half? when u do things for your other half, do you expect sth in return? maybe you do. then do you label that as unconditional? or do you call that mutual love? confusing.

does unconditional love for your friends exist? when you give, do you expect sth in return? if you do, do you still call that unconditional?

i only know, it is tiring to be the one giving all the while and be treated like nth. maybe coz i was expecting sth back in return. nope, i wouldnt say in return, i should say, hope that someone will reciprocate. nah it never happen. should i put it this way, everyone hopes to be appreciated? or is this even too much to ask for? or should i ask, does the friendship even exist?

am i being greedy to ask for more? am i the one greedy to wish for more? am i incorrigible to ask for that kind of reliance? maybe i am the greedy one, simply coz i have no entitlement to even wish. ya im greedy. incorrigible. stupid.

kns.

i quit monologing. coz u dont give a damn.

to me, it doesnt matter anymore.

i..give up.

talk about unconditional. unconditional should only be given to people who are worthy. are you?

let the wind kiss those tears coz it will blow those sadness away..
when the sun sets, it is another brand new start..
breathe in deep and embrace the solitude..

^s0rr|

sunset - sunrise